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“What do you mean I’m pregnant” says the woman who wasn’t on any form of birth control.

April 1st, 2025. I went to a comedy show with my fiancé, Frank. It was good to get out considering all of March I felt low, unmotivated and uninterested in what typically made me get up and move. We had front row seats, and in typical comedy show nature, people in the front row get picked on, so I got picked on – not in any normal way of asking a question or making fun of me, no. Instead the comedian pointed at me and said “you’re pregnant”. Funny in the moment? Absolutely. Funny on the walk home realizing that my missed period wasn’t because I was stressed or depressed all of March and it might be because I’m pregnant? Not overly.

April 2nd, 2025. At work can’t stop thinking about the comedy show. “What if the comedian was right?”, “What if I’m pregnant”, “What will Frank say”, “What will I do if I take the test and I’m pregnant”. Just constant thoughts and anxiety, so I knew the only way to know is to take the test. So I did, and sure enough it was positive before I flushed the toilet. I was pregnant.

I couldn’t be pregnant, 2025 was a big year for me, for us. We had our wedding planned, we had friends and family weddings, we had trips booked, I was starting my Masters in the fall, we never planned a pregnancy for 2025. Yes, we always said we wanted kids but we didn’t plan for a 2025 baby. I wasn’t ready to stop only focusing on me, I wasn’t ready to have a baby.

Needless to say, I was freaking out. That’s probably an understatement, I was having a full on breakdown, and not just one.

Was abortion a thought? Yes. Am I against abortion? No. Was keeping her a thought? Yes. Was I ready to be a mother? No.

We scheduled two appointments, one abortion, one to confirm pregnancy and to continue next steps. The next few days leading up to those appointments were confusing, overwhelming, hormonal, and involved a lot of crying. Various thoughts ran through my head,

• What if this is my only chance to have a child?
• What if I’m not ready to be a mom?
• What if we make a really cute baby?
• I can’t be pregnant on my wedding day.
• What if I’m a really good Mom, and Frank is a really good Dad?
• I have never changed a diaper before.
• What does Frank want?
• This wasn’t the plan.
• This wasn’t the plan.
• This wasn’t the plan.

Sorry for the spoiler, but we decided to go through with the pregnancy. Why? A lot of reasons. I love the person that I got pregnant with, I know I would be a good Mom and he would be a good Dad, we are financially able to have a baby, I knew it was something we eventually wanted, and ultimately, I couldn’t think of a reason to abort the pregnancy other than it wasn’t the plan.

Was I scared the entire pregnancy if we made the right decision? Absolutely. Do I feel we made the best decision having Eve? Absolutely.

Although I can plan a lot in life, I couldn’t have planned for a more perfect baby.

-Jess

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