Baby blues, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, the list goes on, we have heard of them but until you experience it you don’t really know what it means.

Well, I found out this week what it means. You name it? I cried about it, or I’ve been anxious about it. Pregnancy hormones honestly had nothing on those hormones on day 3. Cried about bringing her in a blue onesie to her first appointment. Cried about her outfit not being miraculously put together. Cried because Christmas will be cute all together as a family. Cried because I could finally see my vagina again. Cried because she wouldn’t latch. Anxious about never getting a milk supply. Anxious about unread text messages. Anxious about my cats not getting enough love. Anxious about her preferring formula over me. Anxious/cried about letting her sleep on us rather than in the crib. Cried that she’s only had diaper changes in one day. The list goes on…

Was I sad? Yes. Was I anxious? Yes – when am I not really tho lol. What kept me grounded throughout the day was a few things. Knowing that I had people I could call and text – even though at the moment I was too exhausted to really do either. I knew it was the hormones, and ultimately I’m crying or I’m anxious because I care.

Although day 3 felt like I would be crying forever, day 4 came with a better outlook, more sleep, and surprisingly no tears.